(no subject)
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blonderussianspyIt was a deceptively sentimental activity. Natalya sat on the low, wrap around porch of her hut, improbably sized wolf friend stretched out over the cool wood and similarly oversized snow globe in hand. She was turning it over to crank the key at the bottom and start whatever song wanted to play next, a seemingly endless, she'd found over the years, medley of Russian melodies and anthems. Then she would right it and set it on the railing to watch the snow fall on Red Square.
She felt sometimes as though her entire world could compress down to fit inside the glass, and maybe if she focused long enough, she'd wake up there instead of the island one day. The question would ultimately be, of course, if she did, would it be to a living Rodya or a dead one? Would it be to the world she'd left or the one that had existed before?
The questions weren't helpful, really, they didn't make the days less lonely or more compelling. If anything, she recognized her dependence on the maudlin little ritual as being, probably, a bad sign for her mental state. She wasn't sure she knew how to interact with people in a meaningful way, any longer, and that should have made her sadder.
Instead of letting that particular emotion bloom, though, she pulled the snow globe down and wound it again.
She felt sometimes as though her entire world could compress down to fit inside the glass, and maybe if she focused long enough, she'd wake up there instead of the island one day. The question would ultimately be, of course, if she did, would it be to a living Rodya or a dead one? Would it be to the world she'd left or the one that had existed before?
The questions weren't helpful, really, they didn't make the days less lonely or more compelling. If anything, she recognized her dependence on the maudlin little ritual as being, probably, a bad sign for her mental state. She wasn't sure she knew how to interact with people in a meaningful way, any longer, and that should have made her sadder.
Instead of letting that particular emotion bloom, though, she pulled the snow globe down and wound it again.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-30 09:14 pm (UTC)"True. This, I would like. Very much." Even if it wouldn't be easy to bear, it would be the right thing to do, and a better thing to do than ignore a friend's happiness and an extended hand when it was offered.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-01 05:43 am (UTC)"Have you ever met Ellen? I don't think I've asked."
no subject
Date: 2013-04-06 02:34 am (UTC)"Will be good, to do so."